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一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言： “通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的！”大家都一声不吭躺倒。——这叫观念转化，改变原有固定思维方式。 ; O3 J% W; e7 C; u( F
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5 R9 T% }& d2 I( U! c9 t% S. F/ b3 T劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上呈大字形的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些！这是劫财，又不是劫色！”——这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干！
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; y2 r* H2 g9 ~, E; B抢劫成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪（硕士学历）说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”
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% |+ m, R) y6 t4 F( k/ ]那老劫匪（小学学历）说：“你傻啊？这么多钱，你要数到什么时候啊？今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。” ——这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要! 2 k* }: e1 C; l* L: c
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劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案！主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等！把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去！”——这叫危机预案，化不利为有利！ 9 g7 y/ ~3 l5 ~# O2 K* P
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0 c9 `0 U- t G1 l& I! V$ l主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。—— 工作很枯燥，快乐最重要！ % E9 |0 Z, ?. B0 x
第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，可劫匪数来数去只有两千万。
& P) p. |# y8 \老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊！”——知识可以转化金钱的明证！: y7 L# ~ ?" e' c4 B& u- ~
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银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊……”+ h2 o/ o* k. h+ w( g/ g L9 n
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