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1.局花( |! H. ~$ q) R8 N% u: [
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，7 U5 t3 r6 ?2 u
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，+ V/ J$ ~# m! ^* |7 \
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
- H- z, |" l" H* [3 ]评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么 F. l7 p' x- `
# X! @' ~- `9 F# K2.媳妇
8 k, q9 |* l: |10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。! D; O F! c! \* K( L4 d: _5 L
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
: Q6 a5 c Y1 P3 G谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”$ t3 y2 {( c |
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺! i& a3 t1 A0 K7 N* M
: s3 ]' s/ I, y$ w! |1 N9 h4 A5 \3.倒贴 R/ Q- k' h4 ?; N
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。: d9 \1 k: Y$ P
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
& Y2 G7 |8 ~! f老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
) r D( i5 M: y( O4 P/ B' J老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”+ u. o h$ F% @% |2 |: J
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，- M* @! z3 }3 F
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”6 u v5 O3 h7 v6 ?
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊! S) F0 L0 v) _& T/ I) m4 R) z
" g! O! V2 N3 G2 W4.刺激
* S: n6 N* o% ^: }3 _7 H今天我走在街上，: p# X8 N, C4 Z" C* s( g6 n
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺' h" A( X/ b6 n
，我心想完了。+ K3 ?# |5 [$ `& Y
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。3 B* T# H0 [% P! x( B$ V( C
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。& r1 Y( T# V4 Z2 l7 R/ c3 Z
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
) L. _0 r- ]$ j8 x评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激' f4 R @- ~6 ~& Q u0 n, t3 Q
0 \; F- ^" V. P5.不加倍
; s0 p8 z' ?! x小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
* H1 z+ w1 O0 d8 w今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。" s: V6 ^1 Y% g8 b
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
" e; e3 ` P$ V6 ]+ D% K6 f0 ]5 o小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
% T' N0 t' A7 p9 ]( e6 Q* Q% j小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
$ @+ |2 c8 ~3 I$ P评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
4 b9 Q+ j7 o3 W: j9 k$ \3 ` |
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