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1.局花
' D9 Z c0 C- ?8 z! p8 w- e, v, @局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
/ S. B r- I- y# ]- W心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
7 D1 S1 G3 ]" T% ^! o4 b# \* Q' q小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。. M2 [8 K+ q0 t" X4 y4 f) A
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么* b& i" u9 l" E: x: z5 E
- Q# S& u5 L/ C3 T: G9 l/ ]2.媳妇' z; R3 q( B( z8 L0 G- U+ y
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。0 m$ W; l; ^4 F9 u6 q
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
1 `/ h7 K/ Q, x, A* o谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”3 s( g% `) W1 W+ F( U
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
5 G K g* q/ R' w0 T4 l. a6 e3 `5 g ^' {7 {8 ^/ H8 k6 d; C
3.倒贴
+ Y9 Y7 F: m; h# I6 Q& N过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
" V* `2 s- k0 R) F ?( s, u- N于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。: s. [3 p0 j9 t# u8 j# f+ `! d: G" l
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
i' j0 o, ^1 |- P8 K/ x老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
9 \; m0 c3 o9 S$ S话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
/ Q" q$ E- x4 h7 R8 S# {3 Z- J“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
0 T8 p+ H7 o3 g6 e7 r( E% l评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊5 l- Z: K. e3 W
( q# n# Q6 A. U4 C
4.刺激
/ y( B5 L) r$ F$ a今天我走在街上，
8 X2 u& Y1 ^0 C1 `" I6 k% k对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
8 q2 ^3 l$ R8 p，我心想完了。
0 Y1 k+ q- s* x0 S4 K- o I7 ^* l过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。1 t4 y1 E& o5 Y d# i4 V
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。0 l+ M' S5 V5 }
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！: L" [% r; ]$ O% Q8 `! B3 g
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激% L) R( m5 f; { H& x
b7 W( N5 S) D4 { k5.不加倍
+ G8 V7 ^$ \( U5 S小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，7 u8 V- C# j i9 g J
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
: ?3 [* P- u: R) k2 e' l d老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”5 I- b+ f m/ Y% F
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”* F( ?9 X% O6 n# o
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
1 \( {% B+ M( U5 G9 m L& O评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 s6 G$ S; h9 p( Z
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