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1.局花3 q) X9 |5 b0 W$ k1 [
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，/ o) C! g, `/ H2 y/ f! J
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 x9 g$ M! Z( C0 R( D3 C% W小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
. }4 r4 S1 Y9 @' Q! Z评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
: ]& ~3 ~) r8 O* Z# D0 a
8 H8 v9 t* g+ A( }2.媳妇
7 L1 Y% n) ?5 z: z. g10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。8 K( q5 h7 ~* n( r! _
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”! O, \6 b U9 P7 G5 e' k
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
& r4 ?$ U0 M2 \2 c% s: Z评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺' f _! T: D6 H
. Y& R7 q; y j3 ~1 d8 h" |3.倒贴
" X% B9 D. P7 a0 r; ]& `$ c过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。7 X4 D* k' n: M+ i5 g$ t
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。3 R* k) }/ F" _) V) i$ s( C
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”$ i; @$ m5 t: |# ]) Z4 |% x+ d
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
9 _) l. p. u( V0 Z话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
$ b l2 O9 B5 a! M4 x: r" h+ V# Z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
* y4 L! y) y$ Z' ]( [评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
$ |2 Z ^2 L" ^6 n, p/ R$ w# h M2 I: T* T3 s! S- |
4.刺激6 E( Z7 n# b. a! d
今天我走在街上，8 {' M% r8 t/ v- }2 |
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺" y& o7 [0 v4 N3 ^* C! S" s2 \: e
，我心想完了。' k; v9 c `! z2 ^0 J) ~9 n
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
" k! s$ f% V$ T- H+ F“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
4 M4 n" L$ Y h, y尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！. k8 e6 D8 `8 B$ F
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激8 u/ _( P& ]4 I7 B, [
& |3 u- Z7 O; M: s! {' D* i9 j0 F5.不加倍6 W! ?; e3 U0 c4 B
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
% G. U7 i: J! {0 a今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
" J. ^- t5 {+ a老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
1 u* I. q! J- N! d小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”* Q1 }6 g6 }* F2 ^5 b! e
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”/ B9 {- l4 t( `% Q+ H
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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