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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！7 @# a, U2 ~2 e/ ~: k
我先来！1 Z6 X: [ O9 C' {2 A; x. C, t0 @
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”0 F* O7 H1 Y+ L5 ~+ r
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”" w9 z) `2 W3 i" t
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…": S, a& y/ s% z4 L$ P$ a1 p6 ?
9 S- f( j, r% m0 @7 G
$ t/ |! z% t" {0 O一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，. ?+ w4 \) u7 _ @9 ~0 F; K1 c
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
2 W, y" d( Q4 ~6 g$ k弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
1 N% A! @1 {* G6 _, K所以非常受欢迎。1 @& t K( Q7 g2 i& O4 x5 E! u
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，3 a+ ~" g: [/ A# E
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
1 z! j- n* l* z# t9 U7 l$ F大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，- |; P! \' r/ V% ^
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：9 E& g0 r# {* {( H! I3 }
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
* A5 W1 L6 z! d不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”) i5 \' w' K# P4 a6 y- p" j6 Y
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪* P: o3 [) f& n# h' U
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
7 c& f( @4 L' l, D于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
! R ~% Z$ b% }- B% s小明：不行) ~$ t$ [& u" T; Q) |- r- t
老师：為什麼？/ z0 ^+ g, a9 f( j# X
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
; I, q8 C& R+ } N U小明：我是照你的话做的7 x S$ w) C. O" ~+ K; K$ G9 H
妈妈：我说了什麼？7 \1 e$ l! p: x6 a
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，" P( ?( ]/ J t- O
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
5 P5 M, Q {# q% K/ J$ W( c5 ?就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”' N) n, u) B5 n/ B
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？! p3 d% q) H _
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？0 v) E! _1 {, o: T1 {
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！) L7 n0 q n ]+ {$ ^ n
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 1 y1 k. ?' E! h9 F' k: }# j# ]8 S
; i4 t! o# B5 i7 k: n) ]
1 v( {& i) K& w# }. }: @* T( x K$ b7 o大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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