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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”4 H9 ]7 n1 l+ o4 g; h l5 l
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2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”- k3 w% w6 I: w- ]. C
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”4 M# Y! H; i; q+ @2 B2 q
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
3 C3 ~# e8 d9 @! A7 }$ Y/ A9 |8 a1 J% P% @
老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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9 j6 S. D' ^$ a, }* G3 H t女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。2 a. W1 { Z4 s# N
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,9 `" t+ \: [: s& Q) N- j
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,* p+ |4 f; \# \) i
' U/ m9 A; {! m" L& P我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!( z! n$ Y# ^$ [( }: O
4 U" f5 e* Z h( A她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!2 a, L! o5 N# i9 C1 s
$ E4 l) }0 N7 b1 t: c* c1 ^晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,+ g9 S+ [7 i9 p9 j3 L, d' W( o7 D s
6 t5 ~1 g7 s0 b6 g5 Y就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”; |6 X! L7 \6 `3 u) m
5 N, N: S6 @8 X( W7 c, @: ^孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…$ X6 J3 D4 M# Y3 G' D4 c+ e. Q
) N: n- C2 V- D! |. W( X5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,9 V6 z' V c; G V' h/ Y
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。! v6 G5 J9 [2 f0 q0 ~9 X
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?3 k. c7 r3 g* c0 ]9 ~4 c' C+ N O
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我,无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?4 ^( e) K. _% d5 O% D) ^5 h( j/ G/ Z
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。& _0 [2 d% J! c
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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