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1.局花
+ w8 |8 o* P2 ]# \' [局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
# O2 |8 S6 V+ C心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，* F- `, _# I9 G b' |/ J
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
! y2 G0 t n( E) o( V8 Q; o评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么) A: T$ @$ ?. y5 m; p) c: ~. C
& u2 P. u1 l% W0 U# N2.媳妇
# ?/ V; u, o/ s; a10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
* c, i. o5 O! d5 j8 G7 @他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
9 a& D8 y/ P6 ]* {1 h3 q5 f0 f谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
4 Q6 A. u$ c% A3 i5 a评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
~- O3 {$ A0 j8 M; H& P7 |1 r- M" I- E) ^! k* j" N
3.倒贴
; X D- F" z5 w A过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
% a# g% I* Q! A9 t+ C, K6 {' B" v于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。/ O8 G; o8 @+ m o
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”) L' _/ K9 D! A, Y, ?
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”8 Y$ h1 q; S* ?
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，- I- b9 U. ]$ R- y8 r$ u5 t
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”+ _% D' _0 I) t, s5 X
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊% F4 W" A% J( T* z f5 n
1 J; F7 r3 c7 b& W/ n1 R
4.刺激
6 D P& M5 O( r$ g0 _9 p1 W% ?$ x: i今天我走在街上，
, P: e- x2 [+ U w5 E6 X2 v% N/ [对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
6 V# Z' _6 b K+ z，我心想完了。
* W& l; g- ~4 N) r过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
4 z& ~2 `6 p/ e6 _( Y' i3 A“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
' |' S% {; M" @, o& x6 B尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
5 s) L' g, x0 a0 V2 f' l评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
5 O. V* P! i$ ?' {. K3 G
9 a! W' D9 ~" R) `3 O' O" b, U& ~5.不加倍
5 j$ d. x! T" F( R, D8 c小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
7 }5 |) M, q" `6 i) {今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
1 r* K. s8 v5 r, _ ]% o3 a' E4 z老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”% k; P9 l8 i' ^2 [
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”. N- p& p' B6 X% g$ J2 v% ^" `
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”; q# L0 j4 S+ X4 z) e" a
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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