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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐2 k2 m( I- m! ?! E( i; W
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5 H# s5 h7 Y" x5 P4 T7 u今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
7 E3 `2 M4 ]! W2 G$ A' E0 V我先来！" F3 C" V4 p7 q C
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! k8 G* v' Y9 d8 Z7 W0 g+ J! ]A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。” R' ~8 o1 K6 g% N( @. V, [# @8 ]
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”+ c2 p! w" K1 |+ \! j0 w
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/ p" w( C, h+ B; L/ J深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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+ i; x9 t, o# ^$ R% f一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，4 R, {* b3 b' T# b0 W d: r
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”' z. L& M: H+ T# _" f
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
$ h. `: C# K4 C& |' F( M8 l所以非常受欢迎。
0 C. ?5 {, q5 U1 L第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
1 l v2 g' c( a3 i* Q- Y问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
- O* E G, |/ n大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
/ J$ q" l+ T( K回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：& N% f/ k1 o J" i
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！! U: W! P1 P. h1 `* _1 E0 `: c4 n9 H
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
3 @0 g2 Z0 v" Q/ a- k她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪1 T) d! ~: u& m3 T( A3 \1 p
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。3 B7 T+ }+ y! _5 V+ z
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
5 Q! F- ?! x/ j小明：不行
9 `* U0 N: ]" R; v老师：為什麼？
" C2 L) V1 l' p5 U7 Y6 e小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分, M2 T+ T3 J8 A' B/ |
小明：我是照你的话做的 [' u. P _: _" O1 Z- n
妈妈：我说了什麼？3 d9 V+ H1 m5 q( m# j) F
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，) D F3 M1 I& Z5 r: l+ h
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，# p K1 z. {* K6 C8 z7 \1 X3 @5 ^
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
& s& _4 Z5 V5 g2 H) o! g3 @& Z小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？6 k9 _5 X/ {. \ C- V, |+ J
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？% i( O& A# V, d& b: p: v, K
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！: X# V+ F+ j' N7 ^9 T( p
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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7 n0 n }. S$ {6 x- r) T
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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