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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
9 R }2 x, k' ^' o+ n! H; W8 k7 f8 c; ?
' A/ |) l+ u, a4 h3 v3 d今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
/ R% q$ e1 g T+ X我先来！
5 }0 P$ G+ V( X* \; R( @4 V5 K& Y" A, S3 [' V% d0 e- x
( K3 E$ q! d" |" o! v# w4 pA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”+ k1 Z1 h6 @9 ?7 M
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”$ D3 q- z2 H+ _
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4 W1 B5 m" s- X' p3 j8 }3 _, W深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
9 \9 P0 X9 W& Q$ S# e7 J每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
; `, i) c8 L; r! a- ]弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，/ C) {7 C5 B& v! L' |# o
所以非常受欢迎。
0 g. ]- S( }& e! v第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，$ p3 U! k( }4 E
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！” I! [3 y2 V8 A& e1 T9 I7 b/ z9 E6 D% V
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
. l2 e' [1 m( ?# Y回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
+ W- P! \+ H. t5 W# A$ [有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！4 m2 a1 f6 [( I$ @. F5 G
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
) E) p- j" r( `6 i4 A+ [她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
% x3 R6 I, `& |: y生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。# e" ?0 \" H* f( T
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。5 u! D" o) \2 R- E7 _
小明：不行
6 c% e, {( q. u+ S c' D老师：為什麼？
9 t, R' d" M6 \- j5 b小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; t# b+ g9 {8 h; b# m! s
小明：我是照你的话做的4 m. u6 {8 S! k- b: z
妈妈：我说了什麼？! ^! e# P P9 C' }1 ^3 p
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
, h+ s( G3 j' K. S2 C6 q/ O她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
2 M9 Q0 _' t8 `就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
: D( M0 ~- }4 Z0 D. v1 N小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
8 i& Z% v E2 _& r! a: O妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？: ]4 {0 I: S" Z, u
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！& y( K9 N( n% X2 {% m3 r# ]
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 3 Z# C+ o$ [3 ?' Z3 m6 L
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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