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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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! D9 E& A0 f5 @. q5 n9 r2 p今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
- z+ S. \4 z5 e! m! E, c b' `我先来！8 d2 F1 F1 v7 k, c4 p# A. {
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' X. U8 |; J) A' n. A+ HA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
; G D3 C6 o, L. g; E同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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0 i( r& Y/ q$ p7 X5 G' b4 Y深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，1 N# C Q: \$ K+ z9 \
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”2 c9 X, k: W) ^" B' ^
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
3 Z3 ~' j+ P7 `& z Y6 y所以非常受欢迎。
6 h1 p2 c" ?. i* p7 H7 P/ O. w第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
- e6 B; t- U: ~. t3 U问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”5 V4 }1 n; j& ~* u: c5 Q: O
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，4 a- \; q q% I I6 Y
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：; A; g6 A: G7 c
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
7 m$ y3 B( E* w# n, r- l$ J# M/ n% H! U不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”2 x a, D4 V* o) [
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
& g" v, u" y! x+ J( T生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。6 @& R D% a: k# ?7 u9 K
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。) k( \0 w5 S) {
小明：不行# M: k$ N- Y F9 ~+ K6 R
老师：為什麼？
/ D2 H/ S' L: i4 {' t小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分) q; H' f( e2 }, [' q, A1 s, j' R; b
小明：我是照你的话做的9 Z! ]& Z, F, @7 p6 j! F
妈妈：我说了什麼？
* r3 h: j( R. ?6 `/ X* ]小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
' `. A# Q+ B: g9 m/ [9 w' _她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，6 i' E) H! I+ Q) S9 Z, E
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”; I, e# W5 S- Q) L/ r
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？. J7 O: S+ O q% K1 O5 l
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
: A; M) B. m4 a3 ?# n/ j0 @小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！$ n2 L7 [( d+ c
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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