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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐1 C# S+ E V* w" ^) M
9 x- S! f' [4 h& P
8 q) \3 \& b8 _$ J' r4 B( x今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！, D1 m, f* a. s$ V0 t) [
我先来！+ P& E: o$ P i1 f4 P
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”$ `4 w4 ^* z9 L9 k, J
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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; J* `* _% f6 l' }深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"0 x. N9 W) u; ]! N% h: i v
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$ D6 N- ~5 g9 K5 t' c% K' ^一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
0 v( q; A9 b9 t6 P3 Q$ [% O每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”% {: e0 |3 ]$ G" B5 e% ]
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，4 y- j) w9 `1 q2 ^0 @$ X
所以非常受欢迎。, `# I3 A+ H+ p
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
' t. ?" D( D" m" q: w- r- s问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
5 _9 O7 P% y) T" W大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，5 M+ g! F- g' g& o! A$ ~
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
7 d) S9 C9 U6 L* q' e有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
2 Y# t; }! ^) z, u+ l7 ]1 g不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
$ g, d; R" ^* v8 b2 w她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪4 |2 ~ N0 d% q* E3 Z. {
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。! e) e: l" `1 P5 x
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。& j# i+ c2 }5 G: P0 S4 h# Z
小明：不行5 D ~; U$ { N
老师：為什麼？7 t9 V: W1 f0 c; M
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
& j3 y7 ~5 u, n' Q小明：我是照你的话做的# ~# J( _. n3 h+ x8 _
妈妈：我说了什麼？
6 S) ~" M3 D9 j& G; M) d1 c小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
( ?6 S5 c/ F$ d' b9 y* I她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
9 P$ {% n0 X: }! g8 n/ }就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
+ X4 c( R$ _. g; ~) v( Q小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
# w9 E/ b z) ]% f O5 ^( n, P妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？/ e6 {* ]& w/ f2 D5 U
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！* y( ?7 _4 [- ?1 q5 l+ ?
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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7 C) A' p/ o* ?! M* F( R' R! y
: S/ Q0 ^( \) A% a* [大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。3 V. @4 ?! s7 P: X
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