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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏,送来欢乐
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今天是教师节,大家一起来发段子吧!
, {, j4 t% t! A% @$ [$ T我先来!
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A说:“今天考试我交了白卷。”B说:“哎,我也交了白卷。”
9 M2 M8 {: A) u# M# D' G* K同学A生气的说:“你怎么能交白卷呢,老师会以为我们抄袭的!”! P5 _' @ | g
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% A e# ] I$ s6 H, h2 p# c深夜,王老师批改完最后一份试卷,疲惫地拧开了收音机,想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音:"xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听,感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年),使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这,王老师的眼睛湿润了,心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说:"……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌,李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"+ H- z, v( M: P: l; K; M. m; a' |
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( M8 {- p7 Z6 k9 B/ s一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说:“这是什么呀?”学生异口同声回答:“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长,校长一听大怒,跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说:“你们越来越不像话了,为什么又把老师气哭了?”回头看了一看“啊!还在黑板上画了个屁股!” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业,弟弟不动脑筋思考,
9 V( V" x# Y L每道题都问妈妈,妈妈怒了:“你每道题都不会,干脆我帮你做算了!”& `; U% }. _& G0 _$ p# i
弟弟淡淡地说:“不行!字迹不一样会被老师发现的!” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说:“老师,天气太热了,风扇都没风!”谁料老师说:“别急,等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教,由于年轻的男老师级少,; n" T7 Z h1 @1 W
所以非常受欢迎。 {3 i5 Y, i6 j6 r) e9 p
第一堂课,有一位女学生忘记带课本,帅哥老师请她站起来,5 `+ e. E. l# D$ h+ r
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说:“老师亲她一个!”: }; d& A z& \, X r
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼,
2 ^( }- j+ Z( c' i. |回答:“不可以处罚老师!” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说:. e! [" e0 Z0 f; r; k( U v2 K8 ^8 o* h
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子,我毫不客气,见一次抓一次,一抓就是一大把!!!
9 u! E4 g# S) x, B不知道是不是我的错,那个上课吃东西的学生,被我抓过几次,但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了,我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师,最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车,教练问:“为什么经常没来学车?”& A& Q' m5 |3 \" i9 i: ]
她:“在学校都是我骂学生,来你这边老是被你骂,我很不爽!!!” <span] 上高中嘴馋,几个同学合计买烧烤吃,不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了,结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
; J9 f& L! ]. _生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相,偶尔眼光一扫台下,竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
1 `* d( c7 P/ Z3 m" [于是大为恼火,喝道:“你们要看着我啊!不看我,你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师:小明,你的美劳作品太好了,明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
8 R" R: H; p: f小明:不行+ B: I& }$ e" J5 U8 {) ]
老师:為什麼?: z! z% S5 x" ?- c. r$ y+ a
小明:劳作是我爸做的,他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈:小明,你看,妹妹考100分,你才50分
+ ]' ]2 V6 p( f& v小明:我是照你的话做的) i3 I" Y! L8 {! F3 M
妈妈:我说了什麼?
- x8 | E; O1 q [+ y# W小明:你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级,有次语文考试得了74分,) r( m7 t+ [ x* X& i' a, L4 n
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气,
) R! ^1 O2 D) [8 H( O2 W6 k6 j8 T就问你为什么只考了74] 老师:“] 老师:现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做,会怎样?”
* S/ F8 X- K1 {小明:有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问:麻麻,你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗?
6 Y- x ^# k3 Z- c' z, Q3 ~妈妈说:是啊,为什么这么问?
% a, s7 Z, \# u小明沮丧着说:今天老师穿着超短裙来上课,我就夸老师,你的内裤好漂亮啊!
2 I0 m$ x: X" U$ d. E" S然后,老师就给我撵出去了!!!
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面,一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。9 U, u3 |' M" I' I: B
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