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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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: r( W0 i2 B/ k5 v2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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- [* I) i& d% R- h男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。/ R; [* |$ F- E6 N0 x; d) V4 d2 h
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。" l% P' [& d# p# k( B4 _/ i' V
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。, ~( m9 ` d5 h! i
* o, s# P9 l5 m a8 Z6 I笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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0 v/ \9 ^% n6 G( F; b' f4 K可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，! i( c$ {+ k$ x& f
9 J& s: W8 v: n$ y7 s我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!% J8 F; @$ J/ c: E5 N) B* D
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!3 x0 T/ P' ~: L/ V
/ I% M2 H4 V* g R. U. C# E晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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; W" ?, {1 R9 _恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，0 g" j" F& v4 b/ {
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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, c- h+ d5 ^; y k" w: p9 w1 T- w孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…; b7 v& `8 X1 }6 }$ U
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，* f' n0 [+ R: s. s& I$ r5 T( `
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！9 G" k2 j: q% }0 t
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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2 \8 p( x5 `4 {8 `当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？" W# |% A+ D) R( n! P: d" e
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我，无业闲人一个。* f5 P/ f& d& e; c8 K# u9 b4 p
5 b1 W) ]6 P6 w, `- {女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？1 Q9 j4 w6 J! s( Z4 z3 L( L
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。" X9 U2 m5 ~" B
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…& @1 z& W, B9 x3 v
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当前离线
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