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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”& p, F4 P% B4 e- z& T0 z
) i) P8 J4 ~! J9 k2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”. C* r5 w/ Z1 T5 U: y
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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7 V# @: p7 x5 Y Y2 _3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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. ]; L; U' {# ^5 y9 N* |老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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2 M9 m$ p7 m# C, G; [' a女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。# c# W& \) R+ E4 H9 ~' `4 P, ~
o! x8 n* @% {; {笑死我了。。。
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1 D; z+ `! U2 S. |4 {4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，9 Z% c/ G6 X8 `* O$ }; J
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!; N( V P Q* X' N" J
% \; {) j; v% s3 s d她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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- ]) Z1 P7 B1 f3 W& \晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”5 C. P/ P- n1 q' D$ f% i' l+ u2 ^& ]
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，8 J2 a8 \! K4 m" r$ r
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…, `" k+ F4 G w4 e( a9 p+ s
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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0 j! ^4 Z# [# Q一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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) a% T. R' [! |0 ]2 x7 y当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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. @' r2 Q/ c; X7 @: |# ^我，无业闲人一个。
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8 r& @( V- y9 p o; d' e: g" r7 V女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？( [3 j" K A/ f
5 Q" r; U! }; ~. u I0 `8 F! O" @我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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& M3 |, R% A" W$ N女：滚她妈犊子，滚…( ?4 S. Z# i- {3 a* W" s
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当前离线
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