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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”6 i$ Z: ~) u3 C f6 U" _! I3 U1 Y2 s
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”" `. \; M/ L) ]+ }# w5 M" @/ V
# ^+ W2 L0 I- P. N) g3 Q' C( P M3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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( E. I2 ^( [ f8 G' v. x老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。+ H Z' p8 O- V; T! Q, V" }1 |
! }+ S, Z0 M- F7 _5 J女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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/ I" F, k& }* p1 }笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，5 i% R9 w1 H5 o: V$ `9 ~# s E+ q
( T1 O( `- q% K. N7 F* u, h, t# m可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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& F+ c+ z" W( e/ y我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!; z9 [" z9 p) D( y! K& {
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，1 X3 U8 V5 S" s0 {6 e
) W9 g% B4 z" h! Z8 t就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”1 x2 B. v* m5 R+ ]5 w3 K# H
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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0 D1 a# D0 }, ~5 t$ g5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，/ J0 ^6 S& M7 g8 ~; H
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。6 C4 W* d/ g- w4 [4 X7 K5 ]2 k' ?
* h' e. I+ c" H& T) t/ X当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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% n1 q7 f( e/ G$ ]8 K- f我，无业闲人一个。
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% u2 S4 n# ~! L6 d1 J女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？$ o3 |9 O1 R1 l) X. y7 i1 I9 X. T
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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8 `; L4 m1 b- R( |女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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